Friday, April 30, 2010

sorry everyone


i may have been. drinking.
This photo is not from last night, but it accurately portrays what i did yesterday evening.
it's quite amusing, so i won't delete the post, but for now, dignity is not the thing is have


the face above is the face i wear around auckland near all of the time.

I have a fan in auckland!!! the guy that writes e is for ernest
steven's on the way to ACTUALLY making friends. (hannah doesn't count: she is probably a figment of my imagination)
The internal battle:
"you're finally making friends!"
"no I'm not"
"I'm just trying to be encouraging"
"..."

it WAS raining and hazy and terrible this morning, but life had a talk with weather and decided to make a sunny, hot day for steven to suffer.

I HAVE TO BE THIN

I HAVE BEEN HICCUPOING HEAVIUKEY.



HANANNAH HAS BEEN HEAVILY EMOTIONING OVER THE PHONE.


BITC H HAS FEELINGS OVER EZPENSIVE PHONE.



BITCH

I AM NOT DRUNK......IM FINE. STEVEN IS DEPRESSED. HE IS ONLY PROJECTING.

EVERYU ONE FUCK OFF

foreign comics,



all of those who can't be bothered readintg theae un ROTATED OMICS, YOU CAN Aalllll FUCK OFF.


BITHES

.


PAIGESM, UST NI HAAAAN SOOK'.,

I NEED A CIG.

THE REAK LIGE

thishappens. The ony friend i have in elam is hannah and ahe does'nt even go to elam. "aaaiee used to !!!"
we just get drunktogether alllll the time. very single weeekend, likea ritual. todaym this friday *(pre-weekend) it is tea and cheap cehap vokka. lots of rollies too. goddam tax.


i may be srartying to make friends though... with noraml poeple. it will never happen, but i may hioe and wish and pray to non-existentr goda.


you guys, you all listeners AND FOLLOWERS, MY MINIONS, SHOUILD LISTEN TO TINY VIPERS. ALSO i have been experimentting with claymation and claymation . i will post it when it lets me.


hhh


auckland is terrilbles

every single mother Fuckig weekend>
thisd week it is the 24 dol:lard ODKA AND TEA.
CHEAP READ BULL AND TEA . EARL GREY.


i am 63 kg. AFTER! BIG LUN H.
I MA doing well.
so
well



bitch

Thursday, April 29, 2010

not enough neopoints

bindi

Putting a cigarette out on my forehead will NOT mean that i have a bindi, and i WILL struggle no matter how hard you pin me down between your thighs.

misery

four years, four years fo misery.

Take two.

I lied Callum. I said two more, but it was actually five.
I need help...

YES

Shortcut

"AUGH

You know what those rounded edges mean...


I bought Gogol today for 7 dollars, super excited about reading it. Haven't had time yet due to some serious webcomicing

tribute to callum's text

thanks for the advice

mirror, mirror


I am also afraid of them because they tell me that if I can't fit a bracelet on my thigh: birds will target me and small children will cry at the sight of me.

what i do with my time

"so, how was your weekend, did you go to town?"
"..."

my life here


They have a loudspeaker here. Every time some tool's voice screams some nonsense about which bar they will be going to or which sport they will be playing, small parts of my livelihood break away and crumble into dust.

I want to move to mars

beam me up scottie!!!

thought proccess.


This is the way minds work. Do not deny.

willpower

Have you got what it takes

birthday

weighing this up

The internal battle.
don't ask which side won.

meridith harris, your comics slay me.

It ACTUALLY happened.

THE LIFE OF WILLIAM 1

"The Life of William" (tm) will hopefully be a long-running series. Just like "Friends" but without all the love, joy and laughter.

?

technique


i swear to you, i am

a ballad

this is how this cartoon strip name came to be.

Richard "you have very firm lips; would you teach me your technique"
Steven "haha. sure"
Bryn "=O"

Steven, you are not supposed to kiss people when your girlfriend is right next to you

the life and death of mr. badmouth

visual pun!


is it a visual pun? i don't know. it may just be awful.

unclean

Wednesday, April 28, 2010

"a sign from god."

R18

supernatural themes

sorry

this is a terrible cartoon.
I'm really sorry everyone.

it's pronounced "SAA-WEEET!!!"

That's right: You are my followers

the only time i will every use the letters "p", "w" and "n" in that order.

you may only like bitch please.

and bitch please only.

Dearest Paige;

"I thank you: I am not of many words, but I thank you."


More Shakespeare!

DEATH! by skinning.


This is how vegans will end up feeling at the extremities of their insanity. They will start filter-feeding or eating their own toenails for sustainance.

I don't mean to offend. I have no qualms whatsoever about your downwards spirals.
Vegan away.

hilarious!

I pierced my thumb REALLY deep in the process of making an ahnk. These are the mighty Niles of my blood pouring from the puncture.

there was enough blood to soak a tissue an a half (which is now hanging happily on my cork-board).

I like to leave traces of blood splattered on the porcelain basins in the bathroom so others will come in and think that someone has pulled a Lady Macbeth: "Out, damn'd spot!"

Tuesday, April 27, 2010

Another multiple choice.


Same as last time.
WHICH ONE TICKLES YOU MOST, or causes your retinas the most pain

Bitch Please

i wish

"legs up to here"
*gestures towards neck*

i am in the cold box


I have to go the photosoc meeting this eve; I'm rather frightened.
I hope it will be the haven of attractive intelligent conversational hedonists that I have been looking for.

High hopes.

i'm taking a book just in case it is terrible.

Monday, April 26, 2010

boxing-day poonani

this is technically a cartoon so I'm putting it in the cartoons section. this is also david's back.

i suppose this would come under hilarious aspects of my existence in AUckland as well...

Hannah drew that thing above the cartoon. so far, i have been led to believe that it is a condom with an eye, wings and hands without arms. suggestions?

this is also quite hilarious.






you can see the garlic hanging out in the top corner there.


Note to everyone in christchurch EXCEPT alex. i was going to inform you of this bank of wit but then i realised that i had sent some of the originals to people in wax sealed letters. i thought it proper for the originals to been seen first instead of the shitty-digital photos. I sent a text to alex without thinking about the implications: the world will end and John Cusak will survive. I will alert everyone once the virginity of the originals has been taken.
this isn't very hilarious. it's just pleasant. this is nicest weather i've seen since I came here.

life-bad.

These three rings stop me from putting my hands in my pockets.
This one makes it impossible to play piano in the cupboard downstairs.
this is bird skull

when

tools